25 things about me:

1. I secretly like Kanye West's excessive confidence and internally challenge statements other people make about how his ego is off putting. I think it drives creativity and motivates an external expression of internal conflicts. Even so, I hate Naomi Campbell's excessive confidence. So I guess it's two-fold.

2. I have a strong interest in architecture and furniture and the reason why is really hard to explain. Simply, the aesthetics and scale move me in this really weird way.

3. I sometimes feel like I don't have enough empathy for others, even though so much in life moves me and captivates my mind.

4. I am excessively paranoid about the ways others view me. I struggled with this so much in high school that I tried very hard to irrationally adjust my social experiences so others would like me. Things are better now.

5. I grew up very much fighting the idea of adoption. It took me until I was a mid-teen to really love my family as "my family". I know now that the confusion and pain that I experienced has made me a far more expressive person emotionally than I ever could have been. Also, I know truly, deeply, that my love for my family is real.

6. I love cellos, violins, pianos, and any instrument with that kind of vibrant resonance. I hear those sorts of vibrations best, and am in awe of the feelings those vibrations elicit within me.

7. My favorite movie is 3-Iron (bin jip) and my favorite book is Flower's for Algernon. A theme present in each of these is the solitude we all experience. For some personal reason, it makes sense that each of these favorites contains the theme of solitude.

8. Something random: Whenever I try to sing a song in the car and there is a pause between verses, I always begin singing the next verse a couple beats before I should. This actually frustrates me.

9. I've always had trouble expressing how I feel to prospective partners. For some irrational fear that my parents may not 'like' or 'approve' of her. I've yet to have a girlfriend come home to my parents' house because of this. Sometimes, I feel that I wouldn't be a good enough boyfriend and question what their parents would think of me if I were to go to their parents' home. I've gotten better about detaching this irrational behavior from my decisions. My next girlfriend will see my parents' home and will meet my folks.

10. I've hated having pictures taken of myself but am secretly proud of many of the pictures that my friends have of me. I'm like, "look at me!"

11. I've been blogging lately as an excuse to collect my favorite sites or points of interest into one site. This is honestly so that others can see a bit more of myself, and so my mother and father can understand some of the interests that I may not fully explain to them. And to occupy time.

12. I like collecting music so I can listen to something that will get me out of any given mood. I'm very proud of my music collection and also love to share songs with friends.

13. One of my favorite sensations is the feeling of the cool side of the pillow against my face. Or the cool wind blowing against my skin. Or the feeling of being fully immersed in water.

14. I'm still using the same AIM name I had when I was 13. Rbarker358

15. My parents are my favorite people in life. The same is true for my closest friends. You've each shaped my life in so many unexplainable and significant ways.

16. You won't hear me sugar coat things. You'll get my honest opinions. I also like to discuss things with people so that I can hear an honest confirmation of the other person's point. It's cool to see what people do to back up their points. I don't like when people change their opinions if they conflict with the views of others. Mean what you say, Say what you mean!

17.I use ellipses in all of my AIM conversations (...blah blah blah.... blah blah blah....) Even when I'm not continuing a point!

18. If I could have a dream career, it would be beat composition in the music world, or as a chef in a High-class restaurant in New York City.

19. I wear headphones when I listen to music because I like the way the rhythms feel against my ears.

20. I like to help people to better understand things; but I couldn't see myself having a career as an educator. It would be a struggle as an every day venture.

21. I'm fascinated by the creativity of web developers, architects, musicians, engineers, and artists.

22. My memory is really random and sometimes so 'good' that people don't remember something that is so vivid in my mind. This leads to awkward dialogue sometimes, when I'll bring up an obvious memory and the other person will be like, "what"... I'll be like.. umm... did this really happen. and then like two minutes later, the person will be like... "Oh... that.... yeah!" Stupid memory. I tell you.

23. I love harmonies in rap music. Some musicians are seen as less than artistic or musical simply for existing within the rap genre.

24. I'm a dog person and will never be swayed into becoming a cat person. Dogs think everything is the 'best thing ever.' I'm very much the exact same way about many things. (When I was younger, whatever I was eating was the best--insert food--I'd ever had; the movies we'd watch were the best movies, the books I'd read would be the best book ever. It was actually quite cute.)

25. I am very hopeful that others view me as a good person despite any of my many negative qualities. Oh, and randomly, my favorite animals are the Narwhal Whale and the Platypus.